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Monday 25 October 2010

Still missing you Carol xxx

Today would have been my sister Carol's 51st birthday.  She'd be preparing for an amazing party.  She loved this time of year.  Her birthday, Halloween and the promise of Christmas just around the corner meant she was in her element.  Dressing up, stringing decorations in the trees in her front garden, socialising, parties, family.  She was the best, most imaginative host ever.  She was fun, caring, hilariously funny, a little outrageous, giving, loving...the most brilliant person I've ever known.  I thank the Lord that I was blessed to have her as my big sister.  She inspired me, I aspired to be like her, I adored her.  She was a huge presence in my life, which is why even now 15 years after her death, I still miss her everyday.

At just 36 years old, my sister was cruelly taken away from us.  Six years earlier she had been diagnosed and treated for skin cancer.  The medical profession had not done enough and the malignancy found its way into her lymphatic system.  It was a fight that she could not win.  It devastated us. 

Sometimes I still find myself thinking "I'll phone Carol to tell her that."  I still remember her phone number as if it was just yesterday that she was my confidante, on hand to listen to her younger sisters trials and tribulations.  She was always the first person I turned to. Her dry sense of humour would always lighten up any situation. She knew how to handle things, how to turn situations around.  She made you feel special...that was her gift.

Carol never lived to know who the Spice Girls were.  Never read Harry Potter.  Never saw Toy Story.  She never saw the explosion of the internet.  How she would have loved Facebook and Blogging!  She'd have embraced the Social Media and I would have loved having her in my virtual world.  She would have adored Sky +.  Mobile phones with cameras and videoing capabilities.  Reality TV.  3D horror films at the cinema.  Laptops.  Pixar films.  Sat Nav's. Digital radio. MP3's. 

She never got to be there to see her children grow up into the beautiful, amazing adults they have become.  I am so proud of my nephew and niece and they have so much of their mother in them, it is a comfort and an honour to have them in our lives.  My third child was born six months after my sister died.  Carol knew I was pregnant, I told her the day before she died that I would give my baby her name.  My daughter Ella Carol Ann wears her middle names with pride, honouring the auntie she never got to meet.  We keep Carol's memory alive with the handful of old family videos and photos we are lucky enough to have.  We have stories...so many funny stories!  Carol lives on in our hearts and the four nieces and two nephews who will never know their Auntie in person, will know about the wonderful human being who will always be a part of our family.

Cancer devastates families.  It is responsible for 1 in 4 deaths in the UK.  420 deaths a minute are attributed to cancer, that is one death every four minutes.  Every number in these statistics is a real person, someone's loved one, someone who will be missed everyday.  Someone like my amazing sister Carol. 

Being fortunate enough to be finalists in the VW competition means we can support Cancer Research UK with a financial donation.  We are exteremely honoured to be able to donate £500 to this worthy cause.

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